It's Only Fair...

...You're welcome.

Miss Wasilla 1984

I am not going to write a post detailing every Martha Generic* line that has come out of Sarah Palin's folky mouth. I am also not going to even get into issues regarding the ways in which Palin's methods of public flirtation have caused critics and feminists alike to raise discussions surrounding women in politics when it is the person in question and this topic in general which severly needs the critique. No, I just wanted to post a shot of some hot 80s ass for my friends to jack off to later when they need relief from the exasperation of this election.
...You're welcome.

*Bobby's mother of Bobby's World

Hairy Potter and the Prisoner of Razorkaban

Finally, summer is on its way! Sticky weather, lazy afternoons, and icy drinks, the summer season means good times for all. However, the one aspect of summer that I have come to find often kills my buzz, is the issue of BODY HAIR. It really should be nothing to mention as it is such a minute aspect of myself, but I have not regularly shaved my legs since grade 11 and since around Easter of 2007, I decided to stop shaving under my arms as well. For many people such as my mom, pre-teens on the bus, and drunken frat boys, this is a disgusting and unfeminine problem, making me a crazy and Chewbacca-esque monster. It has become a bigger issue in my life than I ever would have expected it, so this posting I am sure will be one of many relating to the furry concern of (female) body hair.

Julia Roberts, after appearing at the premier of her movie, Notting Hill with unshaven underarms was amazed by all of the fuss and said: "On a day-to-day basis I don't think about my armpits." This is the approach I have come to follow. I understand that to many, seeing a woman without perfectly smooth underarms can come as a shock, and I will be honest, I definitely notice when a little patch of hair appears under women's arms within everything ranging from class to gossip magazines to porn. This is because untamed female hair is not the expected norm, so is something to be noticed. The Robert's method to armpit critics is the best way to deal with this constructed method of observation. Yes, many women shave most of their body hair, but ALSO yes, many women do not. It should not be one or the other, but rather both and someone from one group should not be judgmental towards one from another. There are just so many more significant and noteworthy things in this life, hair should not be given so much time and power.

A Quickie

I just bought my first issue of Bust magazine which proclaims itself as being "For women with something to get off their chests." So far it looks pretty good (as does Jermaine of Flight of the Conchords on the cover hubba hubba) but the website is www.bust.com if you want to cruise its philosophy and ideas before spending the somewhat pricey $6.99 on it.

A little side-note is that there is a video on the website about the "This is what a feminist looks like" campaign. I am not sure if I am a huge fan of the idea to create an image of a feminist by using primarily good-looking celebrity figures, but whatever helps the movement! Also there is a point made by a woman who says that "Acknowledging you're a feminist is an act of gratitude for the people who went before you and fought for the rights that you're now enjoying." I think that about sums up my ideas in the previous post, and is a good way to define one of the aspects of feminism that most pass over.

Freedom Torches

Lately I have been constantly thinking about cigarettes. About the way they look, how they smell, what they signify and their contribution to our society as a whole throughout history and presently. In theory, it is a really lovely practice. You get to go outside, away from everyone else, have a little moment to yourself to think about what's happened so far throughout your day or night. If you happen to find another smoker, you get to share that personal moment with them, have a splendid chat, and just escape the world you had been a part of just a second ago. If you are interested in that person, smoking can be a very sensual thing, as the constant bringing of the cigarette to your mouth encourages a little oral fixation, especially if you two are sharing one cigarette. Plus, thanks to sexy movie scenes, the smoke surrounding your faces creates a dream-like aesthetic to your shared experience.

I don't want to go into the negative effects of smoking because I know them and I know you know them and I am not a smoker whatsoever so that is not even an issue. However, what is at the center of my thoughts is the history of cigarette-smoking and its associations (or lack their of) with modern feminism.

During the 1920s, it was illegal for women to smoke outside, and one women in 1922 was even arrested in New York for lighting up on the street. As more women protested, smoking became a form of liberation and a sign of a new, free woman. Cigarettes had been seen as something for men only, and women were once again confined to the home in order to enjoy this cultural tradition. Because of its phallic symbolism, smoking embodied a sign of new feminine power as women started to take on roles traditionally thought of to be men's. At the time, the ability to smoke went alongside the freedom and power associated with the vote women had just achieved, taking on men's jobs, and overall public recognition.

I am not advocating smoking three packs a day. I am not even sure if I want to advocate smoking at all. What I do want to bring attention to are the aspects of society previous to us that contemporary feminism forgets, simply because of their somewhat controversial nature. Cigarettes meant power for women of the 1920s, and who are we to judge what they deemed as influential to gaining that power in their lives. Perhaps the medical world was ignorant to how bad cigarettes were for your health at the time, but for us to be ignorant to the importance smoking held for women of the past is no better. So, next time you light up outside the bar, try to take a second of your little personal moment and think about the women who worked to spark the flame that you were able to ignite...

My "Don't Fuckit Up" List

Inspired by a fellow female follower, here is a little list of things I want to accomplish throughout my time left, otherwise known as The Bucket List, otherwise known as my Life To-Do List since The Bucket List was such a shitty movie:

1. Learn Italian
2. Write my own version of Alanis' ex-relationship museum song "Unsent"
3. Be in the same city as the Olympics (other than my own city)
4. Exhibit a collection of my art
5. Shave my head
6. French kiss someone not 4 years younger than me in Paris
7. Get in a physical fight
8. Publish something
9. Get married in Vegas
10. Have naked pictures displayed of me in public
11. Be on a reality TV show
12. Live in Montreal for a summer
13. Learn how to drive standard but only if I own a red convertible
14. Name one of my kids Dylan
15. Write a letter to a fan-club and receive one in return (Rosie never wrote back)
16. Get arrested
17. Be thanked in an acceptance speech
18. Swim on the side of Canada I haven't yet
19. Try LSD
20. Give blood
21. Graduate university

If all goes according to plan, I will be able to knock at least one thing off my list every year before my birthday, and then each birthday replace those things and add one more for each year of my life. That way, my goals will only increase with age!

PS I may edit these later, I am kind of just writing off the top of my head and I know will think about about 56 better ones in my next class.

Anyone Want to Go "Educational Model" Shopping? My Mom Stole My Best "Demonstrator"

This is a little long, but worth it. It is a clip from Dildo Diaries, a documentary which looks at the ridiculous anti-sex laws in Texas. If someone wants to watch the entire thing with me later, let me know! (There are interviews with porn-stars)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TYXUUsDGxkU

I Do Like the Juxtaposition of the Bottle and His Buldge...

A friend of mine has become a huge fan of the photographer responsible for this advertisement, and I too really enjoy a lot of Terry Richardson's work. If there were a sister ad for this one in which a man was licking his lips near the crotch of a women or of another man, then perhaps I would enjoy this work too.

But there is not.

Tonight's Special: Breast Platter

I am sorry, this may be kind of inappropriate for my blog, but I have a comment to make about the new age of men and the notion of second base. Correct me if I am wrong, but does it not go "French, Feel, Finger, Fuck"? And if this notion of second base is true, does "Feel" not entitle taking your bra OFF? At what age did men get so lazy that to actually take your bra off was too much work? My last couple of experiences, the bra has consistently remained on, but the "Feel" has still be carried out, if you know what I am describing. Just popping out the front, with the uncomfortable wire and clasp still remaining on and being tugged at. Men need to get a grip and realize that the "Feel" does not just come for free...the bra needs to actually be removed! I do not appriciate my breasts being set on an uncomfortable underwire platter just for your pleasure!

That is my rant of the night. Thank you ladies and gents.

How Does Emilie de Jasper-Petery Sound?

Today is my 21st birthday. I have finally reached the last hurdle of ages to accomplish, and can do away with my Australian fake ID. As my mom wrote in my birthday card, "You now legal to do all the things in life you've been waiting for... to pull a slot machine! and drink in the U.S. of A.!" Although those are two things I have been wanting to do for awhile (my first piggy bank was a "Goldminers Edition" mini slot machine), I would like to think that what I am waiting for in life has a bit more depth, pizazz, and sense of achievement.

Last Wednesday, January 9th, it would have been Simone de Beauvoir's 100th birthday. I cannot write anything as well-put as this article from the blog, "Figure: Demystifying the Feminist Mystique," and I am not going to plagiarize on my own personal blog (although I considered it!) so here is a little hunk of the article itself.

Beauvoir's work in "The Second Sex" is a cornerstone for Gender Studies. Her insights on the social construction of gender, "one is not born a woman, one becomes one" opened the door to future groundbreaking theory on gender, social construction, compulsory heterosexuality, queer theory, the sex/gender distinction and more. Although de Beauvoir did not go as far in arguing that being a woman is a choice, for her work suggests that one inevitably becomes a woman, fully identified through the male gaze, her work allowed for "femininity" to be considered as not pre-given, but a social construction, which constantly fluctuates, which allows for historical change. Later on Judith Butler would argue that the category ‘Woman’ is a process, a discursive practice open to intervention and resignification, which must be constantly reviewed and challenged (See "Contingent Foundations"). Beauvoir's work allowed for these reflections, and in many ways, it is the work of these women which inspired us and allow us to have spaces such as Feminist Figure, so thank you and happy birthday. (http://feministfigure.blogspot.com)

...de Beauvoir is who I am visualizing when I say am waiting for a sense of achievement.

Carnival 'Aint Just a Freakshow

Back in this chilly, chilly city, I have already seen many instances in which my feminist beliefs begin to further take their shape, ultimately becoming better understood by me. One of these particular instances is that of McGill's tradition of Winter Carnival. Something I am yet to experience and only recently understanding, Carnival and its actions would definitely shock and horrify those of Nun-ish qualities within the crowd. Student-run, sexually charged, and therefore almost immediately believed to be inherently degrading towards women, Carnival's booze-infused activities are participated in by teams with names such as "Glad-he-ate-her", "Superman That Hoe"*, and my favorite, "Hymen Hunters." However, my roommate, as I am sure others would be, was surprised to discover that I actually support Carnival and its messages. "Even though you are a feminist?" she wondered. Yes, although many feminists would be outraged by activites such as women on their knees, beer-bonging from in between men's legs on a stage in front of hundreds, with beer splashing onto their faces resembling a money shot, there is more to Carnival than its assumed degradation towards women.

First, if we are going to be accusing men of degrading women, then lets take a step back and see that men too are performing actions on stage typically believed to be degrading! I understand that during one skit, a man was pretending to go down on a woman, and just as she "came", another Carnivalian sprayed ketchup on the face of the giver. This was obviously meant to resemble period blood, an occurrence which I am sure commonly takes place during many sexual encounters (perhaps not to that extent, but keep in mind this is a performance...go big or go home!). The giver did not act embarrassed or ashamed but rather excited and began to cheer. He was even somewhat praised by his friends, as the other male teammates lined up to smear the pseudo period juice under their eyes like warpaint. The blood of the woman gave the team the power they needed to win, as they used a method of intimidation exemplifying how no act, not matter how socially taboo, was off limits for them.

Secondly, lets have a sense of humor! The team names and planned activities are hilarious! My roommates' team name last year was "Meet the Shockers"... obviously these participants enjoy what they are doing and are able to laugh at themselves, so everyone else should try to lighten up and laugh along with them.

Finally, in relation to its own sense of humor, Carnival reminds me of what I learned in a cultural studies class about Hustler magazine. Feminist writer Laura Kipnis studied the smut magazine and the controversy surrounding it, also comparing it to its competition, Playboy. She found that Hustler was not purely created to objectify women and appeal to "low-brow" cultural consumers, but rather to violate social taboos and make a commentary on the class antagonisms which surround the pornographic industry, as well as society. Hustler's focus on the fluid-omitting, "embarrassing" body opposes and even makes fun of the more respected Playboy's aesthetically pleasing images. This helps Hustler fans find comfort in their own societal standings, also allowing for actions considered too vulgar by Playboy and the rest of the society to ultimately become less shameful and rather common. Hustler, just like McGill's Carnival and its participants, emphasizes its own refusal of "good taste", taking pride and pleasure in that refusal. By spewing their chunky barf, sticky jizz, and smelly blood at those who look down upon them, Carnivalians and Hustler are aces in my books.


*For those unaware of the actual meaning of the infamously catchy Soulja Boy song, "Supermanning that Hoe" constitutes jizzing on your partner's back so that when he/she lays down on the bed after, the sheet will stick to them and thus resemble Superman's cape. I love it! ...except for the little fact that the person being "Supermanned" is automatically assumed to be a woman, and in the song she is called a ho. However, I am sure some women enjoy being called a ho in bed, so whatever gets your rocks off!